Thursday, December 6, 2012

Finally, graduation.

After a very long 3.5 years, I am graduating. A semester early and I am so proud of myself.

I somewhat feel like this as well...

This last semester has been so crazy, fun, and rewarding. I got to work with some amazing professors and fellow classmates... and I can't help but think that I learned from how I dealt with high school and finally allowed myself to enjoy college in a different way.

I haven't been able to keep tabs on my friends as much but this entry sums up my feelings pretty for when I do get to finally catch up with old friends:

May 30th, 2012

Through the looking glass
Although I don’t like my unkempt style of not really keeping tabs with some of my oldest and dearest friends… I recently realized something over this past week.
After talking to several people for maybe an hour or so each…
Updating each other on our possibly mundane or super exciting life is like looking through a looking glass. I’m flabbergasted at how much we’ve all grown or chose not to in some ways… held onto things or have chose to let go… we’re really growing up.

Maybe not up, but out at least. It’s something worth noting. The paths we take and the choices we make…just how far we have come since the last talk.
It may not seem like a long stretch from the past you that spoke to each other but you can just see it. You can see it in their eyes or by the moments they choose to exhale.
I know that relationships change and while some may seemingly stay the same, those are usually the ones that change the most.

Long distance friendships are foreign to people. It doesn’t matter how long the distance is— 45 minutes or 800 miles… it’s all the same if the effort doesn’t change.

But I care. I genuinely like catching up with my friends but saying that you want to or should is completely different from actually taking the initiative to try and make it happen.

Thinking back, I always used to think to myself “That relationship will never be what it was.  It will never be like living in the same town… the close hangouts over lunch or movies…” But I guess I never thought to think that the new relationship I was working with with a person whose more like a distant but familiar stranger could be new in itself. It’s another kind of awesome.

Think about it— everything about it is new. The person we were a minute ago is you, but past you. The person you were a year ago when you last spoke to this friend will always feel like a child in hindsight.

I tend to think that my time should be used sparingly and accordingly to rekindle a past to make ties in the present with only some people. It’s as if my last memory or perception of them (along with how I saw the world at the time) engraves onto that person’s forehead as a constant reminder. By the point where you feel nothing harmful towards an individual you once knew, reconnecting may seem as awkward as consulting a doctor about a personal health problem. People stay away from what feels and seems foreign— I understand.

I do it all the time and still choose to to a degree knowing that some of these people may not want to talk to me or feel comfortable trying. And that’s okay. But for the people you somewhat still talk to and try with— don’t give up on them. You held on for that long for a reason. And if you know how stubborn you are about holding onto things, you know that your sub-conscience is hinting at something worthwhile.

And that’s just it. There is something really grand in being able to see growth in yourself through others even though your journeys may not overlap as much as you want. The people we meet and speak to on a daily basis, what we decide to buy, or do for the day will define how we see ourselves tomorrow. It never seems quite that evident or overt but as Sherlock Holmes says… it’s so overt that it’s covert.

Don’t miss out on rekindling relationships— whether they are with your old buddy or with an old hobby. It’s all part of a bigger and grander process in understanding where you see yourself right now and where you want to go. Why would you want to miss out on free directions from the world?
Yeah so simply put… go forth and be awesome in every way imaginable.

Be kind, be generous in thought and gesture— realize that today will only be temporary along with each and everyday that follows.


I often try to remember to listen to myself, to my own words and that's why blogging or keeping a journal is so inspirational and motivational for me. I can easily reflect on how I felt and dealt with things from a certain time.

And here I am, thinking back on my last year. 

I went to Ireland and Northern Ireland during the summer and met some amazing people.

I got to skype and penpal with my one and only sister whose overseas teaching English in South Korea.

I went to Cirque du Soleil for our one year anniversary with my boyfriend!

And I get to spend the next semester working on GREs, internship applications, grad school applications, and well... everything else that's going to pave my way to becoming a daily life changes therapist! I'm not sure what the future will bring. I know I like art, listening to people, and now... I need to find a job that can pay the rent for an ambitious gal like me. That means etsy and this blog will be sticking around to pay for my gas money. :D

Should be all sorts of wonderful and tragical perhaps. I just need to keep that in mind during times of stress and vulnerability. But it's always nice to know that you are never alone and that support systems come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. To the viewers-- thanks for reading the blog and I hope this next year is just as memorable as this one! AHH. Can't wait. :D


1 comment:

All thoughtful comments are appreciated. :) Thanks for being here!

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